'Stand away from the hot baps!'
Following the news that Mel and Sue have quit the Great British Bake Off (sob!), we wanted to honour our favourite ladies with a stroll down memory lane.
From soggy bottoms to iced buns, their puntastic presenting style is a huge part of the charm that makes GBBO the perfect mid week watch. Bringing out the worst (best) in our favourite baker Mary Berry – example: ‘Some of them have got a good forking’ – and making Paul Hollywood grimace every time they made reference to his hair, they lightened the mood when things got too serious in the Bake Off tent.
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins met at the University of Cambridge where they were both members of the infamous drama group Footlights. The pair began writing comedy sketches after graduating, appearing together in some sketches for the French & Saunders show before getting their own lunchtime chat show in the late 1990s called Light (and then Late) Lunch.
Both superb comedians in their own right, Mel and Sue continued working on their individual projects for radio and TV until they announced on the Jonathan Ross show in 2010 that they were to be reunited for a new TV project, which turned out to be GBBO. And the rest, as the say, is history.
Hold on to your sides and take a trip through Mel and Sue’s funniest quotes over 10 series of the Great British Bake Off. Ladies, we salute you!
‘OK bakers, ten minutes on the drizzles… or wet cake as we call it in Croydon.’ – Sue
Sue to Mary and Paul: If you can’t agree, we have prepared the mud pit so you can wrestle it out in the time-homoured fashion.
Mel: As you did in series one.
Sue: Please wear the thong, Paul. It was excellent.
Mel: Paul and Mary would like you to tackle that classic of the 1970s – the star of thousands of drinks parties – they would like you to make vol-au-vents.
Sue: I’m off to get into my Bri-Nylon boob tube and my terry towelling hotpants.
Mel: Hello sailor.
Sue: In the meantime, you’ve got three hours and 45 minutes, while I get the white wine warming nicely.
Sue: I’ve got a real treat for you. Tasty, beautiful, unmistakably French…
Mel: Is it Thierry Henry?
Sue: No, he’s still safe in my basement. It’s Patisserie Week.
‘Bring out the dancing girls and the orange segments.’ – Sue
‘Right bakers, time to reveal your cracks!’ – Sue
Mel: Four bakers remain. Two boys, two girls, all ready to tackle the semi-final.
Sue: I’m semi-hysterical.
Mel: I’m semi-excited.
Sue: Let’s get the semis on.
Mel: Baker finalists, you’ve got half an hour left on your Vienno.. isariaez.
Sue: Have you got Viennoisierrhea?
Mel: I’ve got some cream for it.
Sue: Four bakers are fighting for their lives… is that too dramatic?
Mel: It’s never too dramatic. It’s cakes, biscuits and desserts we’re talking about. Plus, I let a tiger loose in there.
‘I can’t wait to romp in your forest, Ian. It looks lovely.’ – Mel
‘It’s time to grease your muffin tray and grab your jugs.’ – Sue
‘You can’t keep a tart waiting. Time is money, time is money.’ – Sue
‘I wouldn’t do [the show] without Mel, because we’re each the trampoline upon which the other one bounces. You can’t just have a Sue sandwich, it has to be a Mel and Sue sandwich. It gives you more depth of bite.’ – Sue
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Sue: Tents. Bunting. Glastonbury. Glyndebourne. I love a classic British event.
Mel: I wish we were going to one, mate.
Sue: I might have the very thing for you, chum. Welcome to the final of the Great British Bake Off.
Mel: Wow. You organised all that?
Sue: Put the guy ropes up myself.
Mel and Sue together (to the tune of English County Garden):
‘What do you see when you peer through the trees in an English country garden?
One large tent and a massive silvery gent in an English country garden.
Cakes that are fairy, a judge whose name is Mary, three challenges so scary… Welcome to the Great British Bake-Off.’
‘Finally, a signature challenge where it’s OK to burn the living hell out of something.’ – Sue, on the crème brûlée round.
‘We’d like you to make Mary’s version of a Spanische Windtorte. Sounds like something I went to the doctor’s for when I was on holiday in Majorca.’ – Mel
‘I’m going to ask that you to leave now and attend that inter-generational foam party in Woking, which I know you’re gagging to go to.’ – Sue, talking to Mary and Paul.
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