The best bad Christmas jokes you’ve ever heard

12 Christmas classics that are right crackers

They’re repetitive and cheesy, but every year we get excited to pull that piece of folded paper out of the cracker to tell our terrible joke (which we’ve all heard for the past five years running.)

Nevertheless, they get a groan of appreciation, crack a smile on humbug’s face and ignite the start of the Turkey feast, so they can’t be all that bad…

Here are some of the Christmas classics. You’re welcome…

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?


What are the wettest animals in the world?


What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Where do Snowmen and women like to dance?

At Snowballs

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

A Christmas Quacker

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

They always drop their needles

What kind of paper likes music?

(W)rapping paper

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

What carol is heard in the desert?

O camel ye faithful

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


Why was Santa’s little helper feeling sad?

He had low elf-esteem

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