From a clear scatter-cushion strategy to your scented candle collection, the life of an interior design obsessive may seem strange to others…
Those pillows are not arranged randomly, pal.
1. You colour code your books and they are all about interiors
If anything, you now find browsing in bookshops quite tricky with their ‘alphabetisation’. Also, you correctly believe that it’s completely normal to have an entire bookshelf devoted to mid-century design – it does cover the best part of 50 years, guys.
2. It takes five minutes to take all the cushions off your bed
And it takes at least 15 minutes to put them back on and arrange them just how you like them. Your mantra is ‘love me, love my decorative pillows’ and no one has managed to convince you otherwise.
3. You’ve got enough candles to rival the Vatican
What people don’t seem to understand is that not only do candles add to the ambience of the lighting scheme, but it’s also important to have a seasonal scent: chestnuts and cloves at Christmas, roses and lilac in spring. That’s why you need to keep buying more. Obviously.
4. Your phone is basically your mood board
A quick glance at your pictures tells its own story: door handles, table settings, light fixtures, bathroom tiles, quirky chairs… The interiors addict is never off duty and when you find that perfect finishing touch for the spare bedroom you have to grasp it with both hands.
5. You know that Mole’s Breath and Down Pipe are totally different shades
And you can’t quite believe that everyone can’t see it! When someone has spent as much time as you comparing different greys it becomes blindingly obvious, especially in a south-facing room.
6. The last thing you’d do with a Mason jar is keep food in it
From bathroom storage to a quirky feature light, you can think of at least 17 things to do with Mason jars off the top of your head with no Googling.
7. You regularly surprise your partner with a quick ‘refresh’
It’s entirely plausible that the entire layout of your house could change while he or she pops out for a pint of milk. When the design muse calls, you listen. You’re also not afraid to make bold decisions quickly without fear. Fancy chipping off the plasterwork to expose a brick chimney? Go for it! Also, there hasn’t been a wallpaper designed that’s wacky enough for your downstairs loo.
8. Your holidays are a really good reason to shop for homewares
You wouldn’t dream of travelling abroad without taking time to pick up a small souvenir to remind you of your experiences. Like a fridge magnet. Or a rug. Or a pouffe. Or a grandfather clock. Logistics can always be overcome, true love cannot. Plus, think of all the money you can save by buying vintage in French markets!
9. You offer to go to Ikea
Unlike everyone else on the planet the thought of spending a Saturday morning in the great blue box fills you with excitement and joy. So much so that you will sometimes just tag along on friends’ trips because you need more tealights anyway.