Why we happily choose to sleep next to the kitchen sink – how we've reconfigured our home to suit living with our adult children

Amanda Jones is one of Ideal Home's new Open House contributors, sharing her thoughts on sustainable living and decorating a home in way that is good for the environment. See the rest of her articles here.

I grew up in a multi-generational family, not uncommon in the mining village I grew up in in the 60s and 70s. Until the age of eight I lived with my paternal grandad, the front ‘best’ room was converted into a bedroom for him. After my grandad died, there was a period of a few years where I had my very own bedroom, until my maternal grandmother came to live with us when I was a teenager.

Thinking back, this was probably the worst timing for my sister and I to start to share a bedroom again. She was a couple of years older than me, and didn’t want her little sister cramping her style. Ultimately though, we knew why our parents made the decisions they did, and I admire their desire to care for, and look after their elderly parents.

Last summer, our youngest returned home from university, our eldest had returned the year before, and for the first time we were now a family of four adults, learning to live with each other. Our girls loved living independently during their university years and living back with their parents was not their first choice, or ours. They understandably, wanted to be forging their own way in the world, as we had done in early adulthood. However, things are not that easy for our young people today, job scarcity and the cost of living, has made things very challenging.

Space, however, is limited in our modest 2.5-bedroom semi, our box bedroom just about fits a single bed and small chest of drawers, fine for a child, but not the best or an adult, who has lived independently for three years.

We needed to think out of the box for this one, so we did. How could a family of four adults live comfortably together, when space and budget is limited? The answer for us, was to turn one of our downstairs living spaces into a bedroom for myself and my husband.

For context, over the last decade, we’ve slowly been adapting our home to meet my changing mobility needs, and ‘future proof’ our home (I have Multiple Sclerosis). The intention being, if one day I need to live on one level, then I could.

We have opened up our ground floor to create a multipurpose room, with two different family seating area, kitchen/dining area, and turned our old kitchen into a separate wet room. My suggestion was to turn one of our family seating areas into our bedroom nook for myself and my husband.

When I first mentioned my plans, my husband was a little dubious, family and friends thought we were mad. Why on earth would you give up the privacy of your own room?

My eldest daughter, offered to go in the small box room, which would have been a challenge, (more so now she’s acquired herself a 6ft boyfriend). I too had my reservations, but I do enjoy a life challenge, and this was one. So that’s what we did, one weekend last summer, we put our bed, next to our kitchen sink (well almost).

Obviously, there are advantages and disadvantages of living this way. Top advantage: are our girls are safe and secure.

One is saving hard for a house deposit, the other daughter is establishing her own business as an artist, this would not be possible if they were paying rent. They both have a good-sized bedroom, and enough of their own space to entertain their guests.

Our girls, however, do not live completely free of charge, they are expected to contribute to the household food and utility bills. I firmly believe adult children should contribute financially; I could write another article on that!

Living with two adult children, is very different from living with two children. We are trying hard to get out of parent mode, but it’s not easy.

For us, sleeping downstairs feels like we have our own studio apartment, in fact that is the way I think of it now. We’ve created ourselves a super cosy bedroom nook, with a gorgeous bed, added a couple of comfy armchairs in the space to sit and read, it’s a bit like being in a lovely hotel. There is just the right level of separation for us all, we can spend time together, or we can be by ourselves if we wish.

Of course there are some disadvantages too, cooking smells aren’t always conducive with sleep, but maybe we just need a better extractor fan. We all share the same kitchen so must negotiate that, we try to have some meals together, but we all have our own routines and timetables, it’s just a case of being flexible with each other. There’s less room to socialise when we have guests over, but we’ve managed so far, and it’s been perfectly ok.

It’s becoming harder and harder for young adults to get on the housing ladder and move out, so for many families this is becoming once again, the normal way to live. We had expected our children to follow the same path as ourselves, moving out in their early 20s but that hasn’t happened, so we adjust our expectations. Many parents of young adults are trying to navigate this societal change, we are certainly not on our own.

Reconfiguring our living spaces, without the additional costs of building extensions has been our solution, how long we will live this way I don’t know, but for now, it is working, and we are happy to sleep (almost) next to the kitchen sink.