I used to think you could 'finish' a garden in a year or two – since then I've discovered why gardens take so long and why that’s actually the best bit

Home decorator Lara Winter is one of Ideal Home's Open House contributors, sharing her thoughts on revamping a 200 year old cottage to make it right for modern family life. See the rest of her articles here.

I used to think you could “finish” a garden in a year or two.

A few flowerbeds, a tree, maybe a patio…and then you’d sit back and enjoy it. Done. Complete. Sorted.

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Eight years in, I can confirm: that is wildly optimistic.

When we first moved into our home, our south-facing garden was basically a square lawn. Beautiful views, yes. But not much else going on. There was one flowerbed, filled with very sensible green shrubs. Neat, low-maintenance and completely not me. So, naturally, we dug it all out and replaced it with colourful, slightly chaotic cottage flowers. It instantly felt better. More relaxed. More “us”.

But what I didn’t realise at the time was this: that was just the beginning.

Gardens aren’t built – they’re edited

Since then, our garden has changed constantly.

We planted a pear tree from our wedding (which had been living in a pot for far too long) then an apple tree when our first son was born. One of my favourite German traditions, planting a tree for each child. Later, when our second son arrived, we also added a plum tree.

But in between those lovely, meaningful moments, there was a lot of… trial and error. I dug out another flowerbed (hugely underestimating the effort), experimented with containers (some survived, some absolutely did not) and slowly started figuring out what actually works in our space.

What I’ve learned: You don’t get it right first time. That’s normal. Gardens aren’t designed once, they’re adjusted over and over again.

Start small (because it’s more work than you think)

If you’re planning a big garden transformation, here’s my honest advice: scale it back.

Every time I’ve thought “I’ll just quickly add another flowerbed”, it has turned into multiple days of digging, aching arms and many muttered not-so-nice words.

Start with one area. Finish it. Then move on. It’s slower, but far less overwhelming.

Expect a few ‘ugly’ phases

At one point, our garden's main attraction was a huge trampoline. Was it pretty? Not even slightly. Did it stay? Absolutely, because the children loved it.

Two years ago, we created a proper kids’ area instead, with a Facebook Marketplace playhouse, sandpit, swings and a mud kitchen. Around it, I dug a half-circle bed and planted shrubs, flowers, and sunflowers. Watching those grow with the boys made it feel like the garden was finally working with our life, not against it.

What I’ve learned: Sometimes a garden isn’t about how it looks, it’s about how it’s used. And those phases won’t last forever. Even if it feels like it.

You’ll change your mind (a lot)

More recently, we added a hot tub and built a metal pergola over the patio. And just the other day, we finished building a second pergola and patio, something my husband started last year.

The plan now is to move the hot tub under there, which will completely change how we use the space again. Eight years in, and we’re still moving things around.

What I’ve learned: What you think you want at the beginning probably won’t be what you want later and that’s not a failure. It just means you’re figuring it out.

So… when is a garden finished?

Honestly? I don’t think it ever is. And I’ve stopped trying to rush to that point.

Because when I look back, the best parts of our garden aren’t the “finished” bits. They’re the stories. Planting trees for the boys. The slightly chaotic flowerbeds. Even the trampoline phase (just about).

It’s taken time. A lot of time. But slowly, piece by piece, it’s become something that actually works for how we live.

And I think that’s the real goal. Not a perfect garden. Just one that grows with you.